How to be a good father

How to be a good father for your only daughter

1. Play baseball with her and take her fishing. Let her put the worm on the hook herself.
2. Read to her every single night. Introduce her to Narnia, Middle Earth, India, and Israel. Don't skip passages, even if you are sleepy. She'll learn to read sooner than you expect and call you out.
3. Give her freedom. Let her roam the neighborhood and the woods.
4. Be friends with her friends.
5. Plant a garden and let her tend the carrots.
6. Take her out to lunch every year on Valentine's Day, even through high school.
7. Sing songs together in the car. "Oh We Ain't Got a Barrel of Money" is a good choice.
8. Build her things. If you see her pining over the beautiful doll chest in the catalog, make one for her. Teach her to make what she needs from what she has.
9. Help her learn to be brave and strong. Don't reward her for every little thing she does, but if once every decade you have to bribe her with a kitten to drink her milk or practice driving, that's fine.
10. Call her often, even once she is a grown-up and capable of doing Things on her own. Even if you only call to say, "How's your car?" she will understand that you mean, "I love you."
11. Let her grow up in poverty; she'll learn to watch for God's provision.  Don't make her the center of your universe; she'll learn that the work of God's kingdom is much larger than her desires. Do the work you love well and wildly; she'll never settle for a life that is not full of meaning.
12. Love her in every way you can imagine, so that she will learn to love her Father in Heaven even more than she loves you.

His fourth day as a father: November 24, 1983

Comforts, Quirks, and Company

Hoosier Winter

This Christmas is very much a working holiday. I'm striving to complete my final dissertation chapter by December 31, so I'm not indulging in nearly as many movies, walks, or visits as I normally do when visiting Indiana. However, even while racing toward my deadline, I have been able to appreciate many of the good things about being here, in my first of all homes:

1. Kind Inquiries from Federal Employees: As I stepped onto the porch to retrieve the mail on Tuesday, the postman stopped and shouted, "Well, how is Baby Bear? Get good grades this semester?"
2. Things that Do Not Change: For more years than I can remember, my mother has used the same wrapping paper to wrap my presents. I suppose when you save a certain paper for one person, it can last a long time.
3. Creature Comforts: Writing a dissertation is much more pleasant with a purring cat curled up on my lap (or, less conveniently, in front of my keyboard)
4. Other Things that Do Not Change: My parents' Christmas tree will always be, in my estimation, the best of all trees.  Every ornament has a story. I especially like the angels made from aluminum foil, which Mama made when she and Daddy were first married.

Grocery shopping with Mama

5. Deliciousness: On Wednesday, Mama made eight casserole dishes full of homemade party mix. As far as I am concerned, this is our Christmas feast.
6. Quirks I Did Not Realize Were Quirks until I Left Home: On our living room walls, my parents have maps of Narnia and Middle Earth, but there is not a single family portrait to be found on any wall in the house. 
7. New Delights: Daddy is reading Harry Potter for the first time (he's just started the sixth book), and I love hearing his first-time reactions to the stories.
8. Quotidian Grace: Mama and I spend quality time together by running errands.
9. Sartorial Redemption: The Helping Hands thrift store in West Terre Haute, Indiana yields many treasures.
10. Good Company: Miscellaneous college and international students are in and out of the house at all hours.
11.  Ties that Bind: I spent last night and most of today with Lennon, Amy, and Andrew--kin by so much more than blood. (Amy, by the way, is a fabulous baker and blogs her creations here. If you're in central/southern Indiana, you should hire her to bake you a cake!).

Lennon, Amy, and Andrew with "Aunt Bethany"

A more typical glimpse of our time together.

Where are you this Christmas? What are some of the good things about being there?